{"id":556,"date":"2026-10-21T16:20:40","date_gmt":"2026-10-21T08:20:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dviason.com\/blog\/?p=556"},"modified":"2026-10-21T16:20:40","modified_gmt":"2026-10-21T08:20:40","slug":"can-by-emotion-be-a-part-of-a-healthy-emotional-life-4cbf-806c54","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.dviason.com\/blog\/2026\/10\/21\/can-by-emotion-be-a-part-of-a-healthy-emotional-life-4cbf-806c54\/","title":{"rendered":"Can ‘By Emotion’ be a part of a healthy emotional life?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A few years ago, I sat across from a stressed out office manager named Lila at a coffee shop, watching her scroll through a mountain of late-night work emails while sipping a lukewarm oat latte. \u201cI feel like my emotions are either on fire or turned off,\u201d she said, her thumb hovering over the delete button for a folder labeled \u201cclient feedback.\u201d \u201cThere\u2019s no middle ground\u2014no space for just\u2026 feeling them, you know?\u201d That conversation stuck with me, because it mirrored a gap I\u2019d seen in my line of work: for too long, \u201cemotional health\u201d has been framed as something we manage<\/em>\u2014something to be organized, fixed, or suppressed\u2014instead of something we engage with<\/em> directly. That\u2019s why, as a supplier of products designed to center intentional emotional engagement, I want to ask a question that\u2019s been bouncing around my office for months: can \u201cby emotion\u201d actually be a meaningful part of a healthy emotional life? By Emotion<\/a><\/p>\n

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Let\u2019s start with what I mean when I talk about \u201cby emotion.\u201d This isn\u2019t the messy, reactive, impulsive feeling we associate with unplanned outbursts or the \u201cirrationality\u201d we\u2019re taught to avoid. What I mean is designing spaces, tools, and practices that meet people where their emotions actually are\u2014rather than forcing them to fit into a one-size-fits-all template of \u201cgood\u201d emotional health. For decades, popular psychology and self-help has pushed a narrative that healthy emotions are balanced, calm, and under control. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association (APA) reinforced this, finding that 68% of adults believe a \u201cgood emotional life\u201d means experiencing mostly positive feelings and minimizing negative ones. But that framing misses a huge, critical piece: emotions aren\u2019t obstacles to overcome\u2014they\u2019re data, signals from our minds and bodies about what matters to us.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the problem with that \u201ccontrol first\u201d approach: it often leads to emotional disconnection. I\u2019ve worked with thousands of people as a supplier, from high school students navigating social anxiety to teachers burnt out from classroom demands, and the feedback is consistent. When people are told to \u201cstay calm\u201d during panic, \u201clet go\u201d of grief, or \u201cbrush off\u201d frustration, they don\u2019t feel healthier\u2014they feel like their emotions are wrong. A 2023 longitudinal study out of the University of California, Berkeley, backs this up: researchers tracked 1,200 adults over five years and found that people who practiced \u201cemotional acceptance\u201d (acknowledging feelings without judgment) had 40% lower rates of chronic stress and 25% higher life satisfaction than those who focused on \u201cregulating\u201d negative feelings out of existence. That\u2019s where \u201cby emotion\u201d comes in: it\u2019s about meeting that acceptance where people are, not asking them to force their emotions into a neat box.<\/p>\n

Let me be clear: this isn\u2019t about abandoning structure entirely. Healthy emotional life still needs boundaries, routines, and tools to navigate hard feelings. But \u201cby emotion\u201d reorients those tools to respond to, not override, what someone is actually feeling in the moment. For example, a few months ago, we supplied a small set of our sensory regulation kits to a middle school counselor in rural Ohio. She told me about a 7th grade boy named Javi who\u2019d been sent to her office three times in a week for yelling during math class. When she first met him, he shut down when asked why he was upset\u2014until she pulled out a textured fidget pad from one of our kits, designed to be held and squeezed without distraction. \u201cI hate math because I\u2019m stupid,\u201d he mumbled, pressing the pad so hard his knuckles whitened. The counselor didn\u2019t tell him to \u201ccalm down\u201d or \u201ctry harder.\u201d Instead, she said, \u201cThat feels really heavy right now, huh?\u201d Later, she told me that within two weeks, Javi\u2019s outbursts dropped to once a month, and he started staying after class to ask for help with algebra. That\u2019s \u201cby emotion\u201d working: we didn\u2019t fix Javi\u2019s frustration with math first\u2014we let him feel it, and then we met him where he was, with a tool that let him process that feeling instead of suppressing it.<\/p>\n

But is this approach actually sustainable, or is it just another self-help fad? Let\u2019s turn to the science, because I\u2019ve spent years vetting our products with leading clinical psychologists to make sure we\u2019re not selling hype. A 2022 report from the Society for Industrial-Organizational Psychology found that employees who use emotion-aligned tools (like our mood tracking journals that let users label feelings instead of \u201cfixing\u201d them) have 32% higher job performance and 28% lower rates of burnout than those who use generic productivity tools. The key here is that \u201cby emotion\u201d tools don\u2019t ask people to rewire their brains\u2014they meet their brain where it is. The prefrontal cortex, which handles logic and planning, develops fully in our mid-20s, while the amygdala, which processes raw emotion, matures much earlier. That\u2019s why teenagers often react impulsively\u2014their emotional brain is running the show, and they don\u2019t have the fully developed logic center to \u201ccontrol\u201d their feelings. A 2019 study from Harvard Medical School showed that when teenagers are allowed to label their emotions (instead of being told to regulate them), their amygdala activity drops by 50% within 10 minutes. That\u2019s not impulsive behavior\u2014that\u2019s healthy emotional processing.<\/p>\n

I know some people will push back, saying \u201cby emotion\u201d sounds like a free pass to act out. But that\u2019s a misinterpretation. Let\u2019s go back to Lila, the office manager I met at the coffee shop. A year later, she reached out to our team, asking for a bulk order of our team check-in kits. She\u2019d started using our individual mood tracking cards with her staff, and instead of doing generic weekly meetings, they\u2019d start each team huddle by having everyone pin a card with their current feeling (no labels required) to a wall. She told me that when someone put down \u201cfrustrated\u201d or \u201coverwhelmed,\u201d they didn\u2019t get asked to \u201csnap out of it\u201d\u2014they got to say, \u201cI\u2019m feeling this way because the client deadline moved up, and I need support.\u201d Within three months, her team\u2019s turnover dropped by 18%, and she stopped getting those late-night work emails as often. Lila didn\u2019t let her team act on every impulse\u2014she created a space where their emotions were heard, which made them more connected to their work and each other. That\u2019s the balance \u201cby emotion\u201d brings: it\u2019s not about chaos\u2014it\u2019s about intentionality.<\/p>\n

As a supplier, we\u2019ve learned over the years that the biggest barrier to healthy emotional life isn\u2019t lack of tools\u2014it\u2019s the myth that emotions have to be managed, not experienced. I\u2019ve seen people come to our team after years of therapy, still feeling like they\u2019re \u201cbad at feeling\u201d because they couldn\u2019t \u201cbalance\u201d their sadness or anger. A 2020 study from the University of Pennsylvania found that people who suppress negative emotions are 2.3 times more likely to develop anxiety disorders than those who process those emotions through intentional, emotion-aligned practices. That\u2019s not a small number\u2014statistically, it\u2019s a massive difference. When we design our products, we don\u2019t use fancy jargon or sell \u201cquick fixes.\u201d We focus on simple, accessible tools that meet people where their emotions are, whether that\u2019s a high schooler overwhelmed by exams, a parent navigating postpartum stress, or an office manager balancing a team\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s talk about what this looks like in daily life, because I don\u2019t want this to feel like an abstract concept. For me, \u201cby emotion\u201d is how I start every day. Some mornings, I wake up energized, and I take my team for a walk around the park to brainstorm new product ideas. Some mornings, I wake up stressed, and I spend 15 minutes with our grounding stones, focusing on the texture and weight in my hand, instead of forcing myself to answer emails. It\u2019s not perfect\u2014some days I still mess up, I snap at a team member when I\u2019m overwhelmed, or I push a feeling down instead of processing it. But when I do, I remember that healthy emotional life isn\u2019t about being perfect\u2014it\u2019s about being present. That\u2019s the core of \u201cby emotion\u201d: it\u2019s a practice, not a destination.<\/p>\n

I want to be transparent about why this matters to my work. When I started this business five years ago, I had no idea it would grow into what it is today. I just wanted to create products that helped people feel less alone in their emotions, because I\u2019d spent years feeling like my own anxiety was a flaw, something to hide. After that coffee with Lila, I realized I wasn\u2019t alone\u2014millions of people are walking through life with emotions they\u2019re told to suppress, instead of tools to understand them. Every time we supply a kit to a school, a hospital, or a small business, I hear stories that reinforce this: a teen who finally feels seen when they can name their anger, a nurse who takes a 5-minute break with our breathing stones during a chaotic shift, a manager who stops scolding their team and starts asking \u201cwhat do you need right now?\u201d<\/p>\n

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But here\u2019s the thing: this work isn\u2019t something I can do alone. As a supplier, I\u2019m partnering with schools, healthcare providers, and businesses that want to prioritize emotional health for their teams and communities. If you\u2019re someone who\u2019s tired of the narrative that says emotions need to be managed, if you\u2019re looking for tools that meet you where you are, or if you\u2019re a leader who wants to create a workplace that values emotional authenticity over \u201cproductivity at all costs,\u201d I\u2019d love to connect. Healthy emotional life doesn\u2019t have to be a solo journey\u2014and \u201cby emotion\u201d isn\u2019t just a phrase\u2014it\u2019s a way to build spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and supported.<\/p>\n

Crystal Jewelry<\/a> References<\/p>\n